provocations.

thoughts from myself to myself. or you, if you prefer.

singing fucking blows. end of story.

Farewell. Rosie Thomas.

just simple and beautiful.

surisburnbook:

Skyler Berman is such a little hypocrite. He needs to take a look in the mirror and direct some of that judge-face toward himself.
People who wear denim shirts shouldn’t throw stones.

surisburnbook:

Skyler Berman is such a little hypocrite. He needs to take a look in the mirror and direct some of that judge-face toward himself.

People who wear denim shirts shouldn’t throw stones.

“This is what you shall do; Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body.”

—   Walt Whitman. brilliant.

holding on.

sometimes i can’t let go. i can’t let myself live. let myself accept the changes that have come my way. i pretend. i put on the face that i’m okay because i think that’s what i have to do. i don’t know how to stop this cycle. i try. i’m aware. but i can’t change my reactions. my heart was broken by myself and another. a man has entered my life who stole my heart in a complete and utterly insane fashion. he has my whole heart. he’s what i want. he’s what fills my thoughts. because of my past broken heart it seems almost impossible not to worry. not to doubt the future. what can i do about that now? nothing. enjoy today. be. live. what else can i do? nothing. do i love him? yes. i think it’s wes. it’s the fear of that. 

it’s fear. 

fuckin’ fear. invades everyday and everynight thought. i am afraid to break again. with him i couldn’t bear it. literally couldn’t bear it. with aaron, i made it out alive. it was broken long before it broke. with him, i have a need. a need that wasn’t there with aaron. brandon fills me up to full. i have to not be afraid of that. but i’m afraid.

that’s gay. i gotta work on that.

Wes Brax. Amy Boe. Mark Trautmann. Calvin Nguyen. Kelly Suter.

gone way too soon. i can’t tell you how much you’ve taught me.

i am so happy that these two people are in my life. 

i love them.

and obviously love the color photos more…

shit. fuck. balls. i love you sir and the world took you too soon. fuck.


at least i know the first day we met we laughed about awfully bad humor. too fierce, sir.

shit. fuck. balls. i love you sir and the world took you too soon. fuck.

at least i know the first day we met we laughed about awfully bad humor. too fierce, sir.

competition.

life’s not a competition. get over yourself people. you’re not that important.

fuck i’m annoyed today.